September 2023

Today marks day 7 of us in the hospital. My son has a pulmonary embolism and has had to have some procedures. Things are finally moving along in terms of making progress in the healing, but what I really want to chat about is Jesus and Holy Spirit. Throughout this process it has been a devastating. From diagnosis to treatment to also transfers away from our family. Which have all been so hard. Through all of it I have felt peace, comfort, strength, and a never-ending feeling of never being alone. We have had friends and family reach out, tons of church family from a few different church’s and we have been so very covered by prayer. It never ceases to amaze me the out pouring of love and prayers for our family in our times of need. However, the amount of outpouring from the Lord and Holy Spirit is so comforting. He is always there. No matter what. To hold, hug, and pour into you no matter what you need. Ive felt like a child just hugging his leg and kind of hiding behind him because I was so overwhelmed by the amount of things this week. I not once though felt left or forgotten. Not once did I feel like he didn’t know exactly what i needed in that moment.

I wrote this in September of 2023 and I just came back after an almost year vacation from writing. I, however, am the one who needed to read this. I am feeling like there has been a big void in my heart about the Lord because He seems so far away, but I know that He isn’t. He is just waiting for me to come to him. Also, I needed to remember just how I felt in this moment of one of the biggest storms of my life. I was wondering if I would be bringing my son home from the hospital or not, and how Holy Spirit was such a constant reminder in those day that He was never far away and how much He was there with me. Sometimes I take for granted that He is there with me, but I still need to draw in close to Him and make Him more a priority in my life. This relationship is a two way street. I need to make the effort to feel close to him as well. To share my life with Him and not put Him on the back burner.