Prayer

I am just going to pour my heart out here. I have taken some time off from writing on here because of life and then personal reasons. The death of my brother being the biggest reason. My family is trying to pick up the broken pieces and try to find a new “normal” without my brother. It seems completely unfair that my brother who had these huge hands and even huger heart was no longer sitting across the table from us at Thanksgiving, has now missed two of his nieces birthdays, and will be ever so missed come Christmas. Just as we thought we were learning what life might look like we got the call the Alex’s birth mother passed away on Saturday morning. My already broken heart was broken all over again. Alex is adopted and almost 3 years ago we found his birth parents and have continued having a relationship with them since. We were all pretty close. Talked often about many things. Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair, but then again it isn’t. This side of Heaven is not fair. It is not meant to be easy, or fair, or to be walked alone. There has been multiple time that I just can’t even speak the words to Jesus. I just tell him my heart hurts and I don’t know what to say, but you know what? He absolutely knows what I am trying to say. It’s raw and real and in the moment he meets me right where I am at. I don’t have to pray a perfect or to even say many words at all and he comes and wraps you in his loving arms and shows you he isn’t far away. It has been on my heart since even before the death of my loved ones that I needed to talk about prayer but this isn’t what I had been at all envisioning it to look like. I thought it would be some bible verses and a little paragraph about praying but life threw me some curve balls. I know that some of us have been taught how we are “supposed” to pray and I think there is a place and time for that but in the moments when you are deep in the trenches and can barely form words because your life is in shambles Jesus doesn’t leave us because we can’t tell him what we need. He comes because we ask him to and fills those needs because he knows more of what we need right in the moment. I also learned during my researching scripture about prayer that in Romans 8 verse 26 it says, “The Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” How cool is that? The Holy Spirit comes in and tells God what we need even when we do not know what that all is. If you are in a relationship which Jesus and the Holy Spirit they will help take care of you. You just need to utter the words. Some others scriptures are 1^st Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing. I love this. It doesn’t mean you have to stop and sit and be quiet all day long to pray it just means have a rolling conversation as the day goes on. It can be made of small prayers and thankfulness throughout the day then in your daily quiet time talk, pray deeper and sit in silence listening. Psalm 4:1 Hear me when I call, O God. You have delivered me. Have mercy on me and hear my prayer. Psalm 55:16-17 As for me, I will call upon God and the Lord shall save me. Evening and Morning and at noon I shall pray and call aloud and he will hear my voice. In Hebrews 4:16 it says “Let us come boldly to the throne of Grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Come BOLDLY. That doesn’t mean it has to be loud or perfect it says come boldly because we know he will give us what we need. Its a promise. In Phillipians 4:6 it talks about be anxious for nothing but pray for everything. EVERYTHING. Big or small because all of it matters to him. Something that to someone could be small to God it isn’t. He wants us to tell him all of the details.

This week pray all of the things out to him or even just cry out with your broken heart and he will come meet you right where you are and give you comfort. Have a wonderful week.

~Becca